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Are You Ready for Another Civil War?


Now that Ted Cruz is obviously going to run a 2024 Presidential campaign by trying to out-Trump Trump or anyone else who thinks that being a fervent promoter of MAGA is the key to electoral success, I have begun thinking about what it would really mean if all those dumb states which always vote red would just get out, secede whatever you want to call it, and leave us alone.

Know what it would mean to mean to me? If those red states pulled out, stopped sending federal tax monies to D.C. and, by the way, stopped receiving federal dollars back in return, it would be a goddamn bonanza for me and for the residents of 18 other states which vote the blue ticket every couple of years.

Right now, there are eight states which contribute a lot more to the federal treasury than what they receive in return. Only one of these states – Nebraska – is a red state. The others are all blue, starting with New York, and then including New Jersey, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Illinois, Colorado, and New Hampshire.

These are also the states, generally speaking, which will remain pro-choice regardless of what Clarence Thomas and the rest of those SCOTUS shits have to say. Residents of those states will still be able to marry another person of the same gender, they won’t have to worry about their kid having to say some prayer every morning in public school, they will even be able to vote by mail (I just received my application for a mail-in ballot from the Massachusetts Secretary of State) and oh, by the way, discrimination for housing or jobs based on race will still be a crime.


On the other hand, there are also ten states which get a lot more dough back from the federal government than the amount they contribute to the feds. Seven of these ten states are controlled by the POS/GOP: Kentucky, Florida, Ohio, North Carolina, Alabama, Arizona, and South Carolina. Together, these freeloading states get back almost $300 billion more from Washington than what they send to D.C.

The more I think about it, the more I think about the numbers and what my state could do with some of that extra money that would no longer be going to dumb states like Kentucky and Alabama, the more I think we should encourage all those POS/GOP states to secede. Not only would states like my state have more money to spend on Medicaid, public housing, and public health, but I wouldn’t have to listen to idiots like Rand Paul from Kentucky complain about the ‘tyranny’ of the national government and the Deep State.

I’m really tired of liberals like my friend Charles Blow telling us how the country is ‘edging closer’ to civil war. If this is the best The (failing) New York Times can come up with to fill the weekend op-eds, then to quote Grandpa, ‘a be gezunt’ (read: enough is enough.)

Does Charles really believe we can understand what’s going on in politics these days by comparing this country today to what it was like a hundred and fifty years ago? And if the NYT Editorial Board has no problem approving such nonsense, maybe it’s time that the newspaper which promises “all the news that’s fit to print” really should fail.

On my way back from the golf club this morning (where I shot net par from the white tees) I noticed that the price of gasoline has now dropped to $4.19. The economy is so strong that when I flicked on iHeart’s FM rock station, they were playing a recruiting ad for Electric Boat in Groton, which builds the nuclear submarines. (iHeart’s AM network is where all the shock-jock shitheads hang out.)

The real problem is that other than a few days of hot weather, the Fake News has nothing to complain about. So, they’ll invent a looming catastrophe, like the ‘impending’ civil war.

I just sent a donation to an outfit called Free Speech for People: Free Speech for People. It’s a bunch of liberal lawyers who have filed a lawsuit against Marjorie Taylor Greene to remove her from the ballot because she was part of the bunch that was behind the riot on January 6th.

Send them some money and stop worrying about the next civil war, okay?



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