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Can Trump's Gang Be That Dumb?

I hate to say it, but if you want to read the best book on how Trump and his gang tried to overturn the results of the 2020 election, don’t waste your time reading any of the books that will surely be written and published by various political pundits who are just waiting to see what happens if and when Jack Smith’s D.C. Grand Jury finishes up their work.

This is the Grand Jury probing what led up to the Capitol riot, and many of the witnesses who have been called before this jury, including Rudy Giuliani, were involved up to their elbows in the attempt to get phony Electoral College ballots sent to D.C. so that Mike Pence could get up before the Senate on January 6th and announce a phony vote.

In that regard, the book you can read which has already been published is The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, written by my late friend Jimmy Breslin, who covered all kinds of political schemes that turned out to be scams during his nearly 60-year career as a newspaper, TV and radio journalist in New York.

This particular book, a novel, was published in 1969, and the plot basically revolves around a bunch of Brooklyn lowlifes, who think of themselves as top tier Mafia characters but in reality, were nothing more than some street corner shleps.

I loved this book because it reminded me of some guys who used to hang out on a corner in my New York City neighborhood. They were the neighborhood morons, too dumb to get a job except as a ‘helper’ at the deli or the car wash. From time to time someone would come by in a car, roll down the window and mutter something which would then send one of them to deliver a message to the big, fat guy who sat in the corner saloon and never came outside.

Breslin fashioned most of his columns about New York City street life by hanging out in those corner saloons, and The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight is a perfect, albeit fictional account of the collective stupidity of small-time crooks and mob wannabees who were so dumb that they were never arrested because even the cops thought they were too dumb to plan, never mind actually commit a crime.

But now we have an updated, real-life version of Breslin’s novel, in the form of the schmucks in various states who actually thought they could pull off a scam to keep Trump in the White House for another four years.

Remember when Rudy Giuliani stood across the street from a porno shop in Philly and announced he would lead an investigation that would uncover the ‘national conspiracy’ to steal the 2020 election from Donald Trump? In fact, there was a conspiracy to alter the results of the 2020 election – led by him!

And now, thanks to Jack Smith and prosecutors in Michigan, Nevada, Georgia, and several other states, we are privy to some details about what happened when these so-called electors cast a second round of Electoral College votes which would then be sent to Mike Pence to be counted instead of counting the ballots which showed that Biden had won.

Unfortunately for this gang, the scheme required that court challenges being made by Giuliani and his legal beagles to overturn the popular vote would succeed, when in fact just about every one of the 60-plus challenges were thrown out.

Now it would be one thing if these phony electors were like the schmucks who hung around the street corner where I lived, guys who never got past the 5th grade and would wind up pushing a broom in the deli or delivering orders to the shut-ins who couldn’t get to the Acme Supermarket themselves.

Don’t get me wrong. Somebody who can’t be taught how to read or write is still performing a necessary task by sweeping up the deli floor. On the other hand, the bunch who jammed into the basement of the Michigan state GOP headquarters to cast their phony votes when the law clearly required them to vote on the state Senate floor included the co-chair of the state GOP and her husband who was a state rep.

Obviously, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to run and even win a political campaign. Is George Santos necessarily the dumbest member of the House GOP caucus? He’s got plenty of competition from Lauren Boebert and MTG.

But these electors were so stupid that when several were asked to explain their totally illegal votes, they claimed – ready? – that they were just doing a ‘ceremonial’ act to celebrate their involvement in the Trump 2020 campaign.

Perfect, just perfect. Commit a crime, or better yet commit several crimes to remind all your family and friends that you are proud to vote GOP. Then take a selfie while you’re phonying up the ballots and don’t forget the interview with that local newsman.

Am I missing something here? Are these highly placed and respectable citizens as dumb as the Breslin gang that couldn’t shoot straight?

What I guess their behavior actually proves is what the cops have always known, which is that most crimes aren’t solved by clever police work, they are solved because the criminals are so friggin’ dumb.

And nothing says you can’t be smart as hell in one thing and stupid as hell in something else.

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