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Writer's pictureMike Weisser

Do We Really Need Artificial Intelligence?



              I finally figured it out! Now I know (for a fact) why Joe is getting such crummy poll numbers when: a) we aren’t fighting an overseas war, and b) the economy is so strong that even the guys who were advising Trump on the economy have admitted they were wrong.

              So how come every time I turn on the TV I see some fat, old white guy or fat white woman wearing a MAGA hat and telling me that Trump’s a really good guy? And now that the South Carolina primary for the Democrats is coming up, the Fake News media even manages to find some black person in some little Carolina town who says that he or she has some ‘doubts’ about Joe.

              Gee, I’m really sorry if you happen to be one of those 3.8% of the working-age population hat can’t find a job. I also understand your frustration when you sit down to eat dinner and the chicken pot pie made in a factory in Uruguay still costs more than it cost when you first bought it two years ago.

              Thank God you can still grab a 30-can carton of beer at your local drive-in for less than a buck a can, but that hardly makes up for the fact that the cost of cigarettes keeps going up.

              I heard two women complaining to each other about the cost of gasoline because they ‘go broke’ driving up to tax-free New Hampshire to buy their cigarettes. And by the way, these are the same two women who know ‘for a fact’ that the flu shot will give you cancer or something worse!

              More and more frequently, this kind of stupidity is blamed on something called AI, which is the ability of computers to do various intellectual processes that are usually associated with the workings of the human brain, but as we used to say when we were trying to fix our company’s computers, ‘garbage in, garbage out.’

              The only way that a computer can do anything which is done all the time by the human brain, is to feed information into the machine which has already been developed somewhere or somehow else. Back in 1996, IBM rigged up a mainframe called Deep Blue, which played a series of matches against the world chess champion, Gary Kasparov.

              It was later decided that Kasparov screwed up and didn’t play as well as he could, which basically resulted in the series being declared a tie.

              My regret is that IBM didn’t schedule a match with Bobby Fischer, who by the late 1990’s was a nutty fugitive hiding in the Philippines, because if Bobby had sat down across the table from Deep Blue, he would have wiped the chess board clean.

              Want to avoid having your so-called thoughts used against you by AI? Simple. Keep your computer turned off and just listen to the radio or watch TV. All AI represents is the ability of computer memory to store a gazillion bits of data, a process which occurs every time you open up your internet browser and click any key.

              I notice that when I turn on my laptop, which is a Lenovo, the browser pops up as the machine begins to run, so even if I decide not to go on the internet, somewhere there’s a record of where I was sitting when I opened my machine.

              As Grandpa would say, ‘drek macht drek,’ (read: garbage in, garbage out.)

              Know why those two fat old white people were telling some CNN reporter that Joe was a bum and Trump was a good guy? Because they were told to say it from some email they received from the Trump campaign.

              Or maybe they got their script from looking at the Truth Social website or they saw an ad when they looked at the website of some alt-right so-called news program from LibertyNation.com. I love how that outfit describes itself as the home of ‘free speech,’ which means you don’t have to pay anything in order to download their app.

              What I don’t understand is how the Fake News keeps pushing the idea that someone who goes online and watches and then repeats some nonsense from a totally jiggered up political website is saying something they’ve thought about for more than ten seconds, assuming they have the ability to give anything ten seconds of thought.

              The Sioux and the other plains Indian tribes had it all figured out when they communicated by sending puffs of smoke into the sky.

             

             

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