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Writer's pictureMike Weisser

Joe Versus Trump. Does It Matter Who Wins?



              In the olden days (when Russia was the Commies, and we were something called the Free World) there were always two issues which dominated every Presidential campaign: (1). Whether American boys were being killed overseas; (2). whether the economy was up or down.

              This year we have an election which is also going to turn on two issues: (1). What we will do or not do about the invasion over the Rio Grande; (2). whether we will elect a President who has completely lost his brain.

              I need a couple of more days to figure out what to do to keep our country safe, but I’m ready to talk about demented Joe and demented Trump right now. After all, I didn’t go to medical school but like everyone else I’m an expert on medical things, so here goes.

              I don’t know whether Joe and/or Trump are either or both demented and I don’t care. I don’t care because as far as I’m concerned, the country will be the same and will run the same whether the guy who sits behind the real Resolute desk in the Over Office knows where he’s sitting or not.

              Yea. Yea, I know all about how I can’t afford gasoline or cigarettes or beer. I know all about how I can’t find a job even with an unemployment rate in my state of under 4 percent. I know how my grandchildren go into the library where all the books are about queers and gays. I know how that cup of stale coffee in Panera’s costs me almost four bucks.

              But let me tell you what else I know, okay?

              I also know that if I were young enough and strong enough to drive a truck which delivers gasoline to my local mini-mart I would earn $95 grand a year – plus bens. I also know that Wal Mart is selling a 40-inch flat screen for $429.95 when I paid $300 bucks for a 15-inch SONY color TV back in 1978 and I also know that I’ll drive my 2020 Subaru at least 200,000 miles before I trade it in whereas I was lucky if my 1980 Buick got 60,000 miles before I would turn on the ignition and the goddamn thing wouldn’t start.

              As for my grandchildren, whose parents will go broke paying those sky-high tuition bills at some fancy university from which they will flunk out, those spoiled brats can go to the local community college for two years, get a B average and transfer to a four-year school but continue to pay the community college tuition rate.

              And by the way, I already have lived 13 years longer than the average person was expected to live who was born when I was born which was 1944, and I have been receiving a nice, monthly Social Security check from what the blacks refer to as ‘the charity’ for the last twelve years. No wonder the country’s going broke. Yea right – broke my ass.

              But wait just one goddamn minute! What if that nut case in North Korea fires one of his nuclear missiles towards Laguna Beach? We’ll take it out with one shot from our Aegis missile defense system and then we’ll send a couple of F-35 Lightning II jets over there loaded with a couple of Harpoon missiles and that will be the end of that.

              I have been employed for more than fifty years, and between income taxes, payroll taxes and personal property taxes, I figure I have laid out at least a million bucks to the feds and to various state and local governments. Which I don’t really mind because when all is said and done, I have depended on the government to do things for me that I wasn’t about to do for myself.

              I’m not about to plow the roads, I’m not about to collect the garbage, I’m not about to make sure the water is clean, the food I consume doesn’t have too many germs, and the air I breathe is relatively clean.

              And by the way, the reason that I can depend on government to take care of all those things for me is because the government happens to be run by lawyers because it’s a government which is organized and functions according to laws.

              Now those right-wing assholes who love to use the word ‘weaponized’ when the government is controlled by liberals can continue to demonstrate with such verbal nonsense how fucking dumb they really are, but even when the GOP’s in charge, the laws don’t disappear.

              Which is why I don’t really think it matters whether Trump or Joe campus out at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue again beginning next year.

              If the laws really are upheld over the next six months or so, there’s a good chance that both Joe and Trump will be sleeping in a bedroom owned by Uncle Sam. Except one of those rooms will have bars instead of a door, which is what one of those two guys really deserves, demented or not.

               

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