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The Trump Crime Gang Begins to Implode.

Well, it didn’t take long for Trump’s crime family to begun to lose their sense of family values and begin to turn on Trump himself. This kind of behavior usually happens only after the criminals are getting ready to go into court and their lawyer tells them that he simply has no way to defend them so enough is enough.

So, here we are, the head of the crime family hasn’t even been arrested himself (that’s happening tonight) and already one of the gang is throwing the boss under the bus.

The rat in question is David Shafer, former chair of the Georgia GOP, who claimed in a court filing that when he filled out a phony Electoral College form after the election, which took Georgia away from Joe and gave it to Trump, that he was acting under the ‘direct’ instructions of the head of the crime family.

Not only did Shafer claim that he was acting under the instructions of Trump and other federal officials, but other members of the crime family did exactly the same thing because they were also acting under instructions from their crime boss.

Shafer is facing eight federal charges, which means that if he’s convicted, he won’t be spending a day at the beach. By the time he returns from his ‘college dormitory,’ they will have made at least two movies about how this whole scheme was planned and how and why it collapsed.

Now if Shafer can convince the Feds that what he’s saying is true, and more to the point, if he agrees to testify in open court against the capo dei capi Trump or Trump’s consigliere Giuliani, maybe he’ll avoid going away to ‘college’ and get a bit part in one of the flicks.

Incidentally, yesterday Giuliani was spotted and filmed (of course) walking into a bail bondsman’s office in Atlanta (thanks Paula.) I can just see it now.

Rudy: “Hi! I’m Rudy Giuliani and I need to post bail.”

Bail Bondsman: “Do you have any property we can use as collateral?”

Rudy: “Ahhh…shit! I just my New York apartment on the market.”

This whole chapter in American political history, the various indictments of Danilo Trump and members of his gang, is quickly becoming a farce. If you had told me back on the night of November 8th, 2016, right after Trump got a phone call from Hilary Clinton admitting her defeat, that six years, nine months and 16 days later I would be sitting in Panera, drinking a four-dollar cup of coffee and writing about how some shnook (read: fool) in Georgia was getting ready to tattle on Trump, I would have said you were out of your mind.

Who is this moron Shafer? Did he even go to high school, or has he been standing around on some street corner hoping to get noticed by the capo dei tutti capi as the crime boss walks into the local club?

In fact, Shafer not only has a high school diploma, he also earned a degree from the University of Georgia and served as an intern for Senator Sam Nunn. He was elected to the State Senate in 2002 and served eight, two-year terms. He lost a tight race for Lieutenant Governor in 2018 in a campaign where he was accused without any real evidence of having been a sexual predator at some earlier date. As a consolation prize, he was made Chair of the state GOP.

Now how does a guy like this, with a quarter-century of political experience, do something so stupid as to sneak into a basement room in the State Capitol and commit multiple felonies just because some lawyer who claimed to be representing Donald Trump told him that it was a-okay?

This gets back to a comment I made the other day about the fact that most serious crimes are committed by assholes, because the cops can’t figure out any other way to describe someone who, for example, sneaks into some old lady’s house while she’ asleep, pilfers some of her jewelry and as he’s leaving just for the hell of it whacks her over the head.

But you can’t tell me that David Shafer is as fuc*ing dumb as that asshole kid. He graduated from college! He worked for Sam Nunn! That’s not the profile of one of those assholes who breaks into a car to steal it and gets arrested while he’s sitting there trying to figure out how to start the goddamn car without a key.

Except in a way, Shafer and the other members of the Trump crime family are just as dumb as some asshole kid because what they tried to do in the basement of the State Capitol is something they had never tried to do before. The last time a Presidential election was actually decided with a contested Electoral College vote was 1800, when Alexander Hamilton helped Thomas Jefferson win the election against Aaron Burr, and there was some talk that maybe a couple of members had their palms greased to help them vote for Jefferson when the election went to the House.

You don’t become a successful criminal when you wait until you’re past fifty years old to start committing crimes. You start your criminal career when you’re a kid and you learn criminal behavior from other members of the gang or maybe from some dudes you meet when you spend a little time in jail.

El capo Trump’s biggest mistake is that his crime gang consisted for the most part of a bunch of well-meaning, solid, law-abiding citizens whose stupidity should have been understood from the gitgo because they always voted for the GOP.

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