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Trump Keeps Raising Money For The Democrats

So, tonight I get a text message from my friends at the Democratic National Committee, or maybe I should call them the Bolshevik National Committee, telling me to send them some dough because Donald Trump is doing a rally in Des Moines.

Just what the neighborhood needs. A Trump rally in Des Moines. Big, effing deal.

Know what? I hope the crowd is enormous. I hope that Trump gives them the most profanity-laced, angry, and insulting tirade about Joe and the Communist Democrats that he has ever delivered at any public event.

Because the truth of the matter is that Trump is the best friend the Democratic Party ever had. Stop and think about it, okay?

What did the Democrats come up with after Obama did his eight years? They came up with a candidate whose campaign was a warmed-over version of what her husband said on the campaign trail back in 1992.

And worse, she didn’t even go out on the campaign trail. It took her three months to even figure out what to say about the existence of classified information sitting on a private mail server in her home, meanwhile her opponent went on national TV and apologized for his pussy-grabbing, locker-room talk with Billy Budd the night after the Budd tape aired.

And to make sure that she somehow got herself onto the track to get nominated, Hillary tried to get the DNC to screw over Bernie Sanders, and then she made it even worse by not making sure that her DNC email account couldn’t be hacked. Which of course it was.

The point here is that Trump would have gotten shellacked in 2016 if the Democratic Party hadn’t come up with a candidate who ran such a lousy campaign. And guess what happened when we produced a candidate in 2020 who knew something about getting elected in a national campaign? Trump got his rear end kicked in, and if he runs in 2024, he’ll get his as kicked in again.

But in the meantime, as long as Trump continues to pretend that he’s in the 2024 race for sure, he can go around the country, hold a rally here and there, sell his t-shirts, caps and banners and pocket all the change.

Frankly, I don’t blame Trump for running around and selling his branded crap at this state fairgrounds and that end of an airport runway. I mean, a guy has to work for a living, doesn’t he? And now that his fancy-schmancy D.C. hotel has gone underwater, he’ll need all the money he can earn to pay those legal fees.

What I loved about the reportage of the Iowa event was how the media tried to promote the idea that everyone who is anyone on the GOP side in Iowa turned out to welcome Trump back to the Hawkeye State. Who headlined the former President’s ‘welcome to Iowa’ committee? The incumbent Senator, 88-year old Chuck Grassley, who’s running next year for another term.

Trump used to bring family members along to say hello to the crowd, he often had some local celebrities stand alongside him, like Bobby Knight when he appeared in Indiana or Rush Limbaugh for his Missouri events. Last night in Iowa the other headliners included Marianette Miller-Meeks, who represents Iowa’s 2nd Congressional District in D.C. Ever heard of Marianette Miller-Meeks?

The best part of all about Trump’s rally last night is that he spent most of his speech reminding the crowd that he was still President of the United States. The way he out it was like this: “Hillary conceded in 2016. I didn’t concede last year because I didn’t lose. I won.”

I can just see the video which the DNC will play during the 2024 election in every media market in the United States. The video will begin with Trump saying he won the 2020 election and then will morph into the gang storming up the Capitol steps on January 6th. You can see what a bit of the video will look like right here.

The truth is that everyone except Steve Bannon and the pillow guy, Mike Lindell, are getting sick and tired of Trump. Don’t believe me? Read this story in The Washington Examiner which isn’t noted for being a particularly liberal rag.

I notice that right now Trump doesn’t have any more rallies planned. I’m going to send his website an email saying that I missed the Iowa rally but I’ll make sure to show up at his next big deal. And the moment Trump announces his next public appearance, I’ll receive another email and text from the DNC asking me for more dough.

If nothing else, Trump may turn out to be the best fundraiser the Democrats have ever had.

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