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Want To Be Invited to Dinner at Mar-a-Lago? Here's What I'm Going to Do.


So, Trump is now getting hit over the head by virtually everyone because he had Nick Fuentes for a quickie meal at Mar-a-Lago. Fuentes is a big-mouth brat who shoots his mouth off about anything and everything that will get him some listeners on his podcasts where he casts doubt on the Holocaust and promotes the usual mélange of White nationalist, racist and anti-Semitic views.

And of course the minute that the alt-right and the alt-left internet started carrying the story about Trump and his dinner guest, who else but Marjorie Taylor Greene pipes up on Twitter to make some stupid remark about the event?

One of Trump’s so-called advisers (nameless of course) said the entire episode was a “fu*king nightmare," a comment which of course was then carried by Raw Story, some other internet media and then all the way up to NBC News.

How can I promote myself so that I can also get invited to Mar-a-Lago and then get noticed by NBC News?

Here’s what I’ll do.

I happen to be somewhat well known in the political and advocacy groups which promote gun control. This is because back in 2013, after Sandy Hook, I wrote an op-ed for Huffington Post in which I criticized Wayne LaPierre, the Executive VP of the NRA, for what he said about the Newtown event.

Now I happen to be a lifetime NRA member, in fact, I’m a Lifetime Endowment member, which means I give America’s ‘first civil rights organization’ enough money every year to keep them from throwing me out.

When my op-ed ran in Huffington, the online magazine was overwhelmed with reactions from readers, not readers from the Left, but readers from the Right – all of whom denounced me in the most angry and vitriolic terms. After all, this was a ‘gun guy,’ who was attacking the NRA! You don’t do that in gun-nut land.

But I did, and I continued to do it for the next five years with a weekly column in Huffington which attracted an alt-right following that usually doesn’t read stuff like Huffington Post.

That was then, this is now. Now the internet has become inundated with alt-right assholes like Nick Fuentes, as well as alt-left noisemakers like Paul Krugman and Cornel West. So, how’s about some room for me?

Here’s what I’m going to do – my battle plan, so to speak.

First, I’m going to form a group that will promote the idea that everyone needs to be walking around with a gun. Forming such a group only requires me to put up a website and I can then claim my new group has 10,000 members. Who’s going to check?

I’ll call the group ‘Guns for Good Guys.’ That’ll work. Maybe I’ll call it ‘Guns for Good Guys and Good Gals.’ That might be better still.

I’ll make Herschel Walker our Honorary President because he actually did an interview back in 2015 where he claimed that he often played Russian Roulette with a loaded gun.

That’s how fu*king stupid this guy is - just a big, dumb jock. The first thing I do every morning is wake up and say a barucha that Trump will show up in Georgia before December 6th.

After I get my ‘Guns for Good Guys’ website going, I’ll open a Twitter account and maybe a Facebook page. I can load up the content for both sites by just grabbing stuff from online rants by Lauren Boebert for the girls, and some gun-licking schmuck like Larry Pratt for the guys.

Of course, I’ll also have a page to collect donations and maybe I’ll get an outfit like Daniel Defense to donate one of their assault rifles which we can give away to one of our donors as a free gift or raffle prize.

Now, all I have to do is spend a few thousand bucks on some Facebook advertising plan because when someone goes to my Facebook page, they’ll be linked to the website and the Twitter account as well.

What I like about advertising on Facebook is you can describe the type of user you want to reach with your ads. How’s about this one: Male, Female, 21 – 50, sports, wrestling, that kind of sums up my audience, right?

If I put this plan together, I wouldn’t be at all surprised when I get invited to eat dinner with Trump.

The only problem is I’m not sure whether inmates at Butner can sit down with visitors over a meal.

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