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Want to Eat Dinner with Rudy and Trump?


Of all the shithead members of the Trump gang I’d like to see wind up at Otisville or Danbury for a few years, believe it or not, it wouldn’t be P01135809. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve to spend some time away at college at the taxpayer’s expense.

But for all his bullshit and bluster I always thought that P01135809 was playing in a league way over his head. Sorry, but fixing up a golf course or putting your name on a hi-rise condo doesn’t really give you any experience to be the CEO of the world’s largest corporation and in his case it really showed.

On the other hand, as a former federal prosecutor in the busiest federal prosecutor’s office of all, shithead Giuliani knew exactly what he was doing when he ran the whole election ‘fraud’ scheme.

Giuliani knew what he was doing for two reasons, which made it easy for him to sell the whole idea to P01135809, whose lack of brains and oversized ego made him the perfect mark.

Reason Number 1: Giuliani has been playing the election ‘fraud’ game for more than thirty years. The day after he lost the 1989 mayoral election to David Dinkins in 1989, he got up at a press conference and complained that he wasn’t the city’s next mayor because votes had been solen up in The Bronx.

Reason Number 2: This guy has been gaming the system and stealing public monies since the day he left the Southern District if not before. His first fraud was the so-called consulting group that got government officials from other countries to come to D.C. for a course on terrorism given by the F.B.I. The poor saps who paid Rudy a handsome fee for spending a week inside the Hoover Building weren’t told that they could have registered for this classroom experience without any connection to Giuliani at all.

And now that more than twenty years of lying and promoting one bullshit scheme after another, Rudy finds himself serving as the star attraction at a perfect, career-ending event hosted by his partner in crime, who claims that a room at his golf course in New Jersey will be filled next week by a bunch of high rollers who just can’t wait to cough up the $100,000 tab.

Except as a former fundraiser who was Director of Development for Columbia University and then for NYU, let me tell you something about how you make sure that every seat is filled at a dinner like the dinner for Giuliani at Bedminster that’s being planned for September 6th.

First of all, you keep the guest list secret, because that way you can control all the public news about the event. And the news you want to control more than any other piece of news is how much money was raised.

The other thing you want to do is make sure that every seat at every table is filled. That way when you send out your post-dinner PR about the event you can bullshit as much as you want.

I mean, who’s going to argue about a catering hall that’s filled?

And how do you make sure that you get a good crowd? You get a bunch of people to show up and feed them for free. It’s the same bunch who stand on the highway and wave to Trump as he rides by.

Know how you’ll really know that this fundraiser is a total fake? If the men aren’t wearing evening clothes, the whole thing is bullshit from end to end.

Nobody pays a hundred grand for a piece of chicken and some lettuce and tomato without getting dressed up in a tuxedo or an outfit from Nordstrom or Hugo Boss. If some of the so-called guests look like they’re wearing something off the Men’s Wearhouse rack, then to steal a line from Donnie Brasco, fuggedaboutit, okay?

Which is, after all, a perfect way to end some thoughts about Giuliani because when all is said and done, Rudy’s just become what his old man became, i.e., a Mafia thug.

And if you really want a good laugh, take a look at the website that Rudy has put online to collect funds. Or even better, don’t forget to check out Kathy Latham’s website where she’s now raised $10,442 and been mentioned in 2,097 prayers.

Too bad the federal pen in Atlanta only houses men. If it was co-ed like the penitentiary in Tallahassee, then Rudy and Kathy could share a cell and Kathy would be close to home.

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