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It's Not a Secession, Only a Divorce.


The proof that I don’t have a goddamn thing to do today except get over last night’s stomach virus is given by the fact that I actually spent some time thinking about MJT’s call for a ‘national divorce,’ because if the red and blue states don’t figure out a way to separate from each other peacefully, the current arguments about Woke culture will drag us into another civil war.

What surprises me in all this talk about another civil war is that none of the conspiracy theorists who conjure up their nonsense for consumption by the alt-right have yet to come out with a spiel about how the South really won the conflict which ended in 1865.

Let’s see – Lee didn’t surrender to Grant at Appomattox, he just dropped by for a friendly chat. And Booth didn’t shoot Lincoln, they just happened to be at Ford’s Theater at the same time.

We have all kinds of pictures of the courthouse at Appomattox like the one above, but there’s no actual photo of Lee at the site, just a bunch of what we call an artist’s ‘rendering’ of the event. Ditto Booth yelling ‘Sic Semper Tyrannus’ as he broke his leg dropping onto the theater’s stage.

And of course, when it comes to conspiracies, MTG is one of the better promoters of that crap, even if she didn’t realize that the Rothschilds were a bunch of Jews.

But I notice that she’s kind of careful about pushing a civil war, her latest tweets talking about a national ‘divorce’ rather than any action which might be considered an invitation to take up arms.

Maybe TG doesn’t know much about secession or civil wars, but she sure knows about divorce. Just ask her ex-husband who divorced her when he learned that she was getting it on with some guy at her health club. Sooner or later, we’ll get some comments about the ‘joy’ of marriage from MTG that have been lifted straight from Sarah Palin’s comments about her divorce – why do I think that MTG and Palin are one and the same? Gee, that’s a hard on to figure out.

To show you how stupid MTG can be, her demand for a ‘national divorce’ was rationalized not only by the insults suffered by good people like her at the hands of the left-wing lunatic fringe, but her desire to reduce the size of the federal government, whose size is now completely out of control.

Let me break the news gently to MTG, okay? If the red states leave the Union, they won’t have any connection whatsoever to the size of the government currently located in D.C. The seceding states will have to create their own national government, unless they decide they don’t need things like postage stamps, currency and checking accounts, all of which only exist because of the federal government, okay?

I have a friend, a nice guy but not too bright, who got all enamored of the Tea Party when those schmucks first started up. Like MTG he was another one who knew ‘for a fact’ that the federal government was too big.

One day I asked him whether he realized that he wouldn’t be paying off the mortgage on his home if it weren’t for the activity of a federal agency known as the FDIC. Oh no, he told me, he also knew ‘for a fact’ that his house was owned by him and his wife, even if he still owed some money to the savings bank which gave him his mortgage loan.

There probably wouldn’t be a CNN or an MS-NBC if idiots like MTG didn’t push out some stupid tweet every day. And I notice that she’s learned from Trump how to inject an occasional misspelling into her tweets because that’s how she proves she’s just another, regular person who understands how difficult it is to get through the day when a gallon of gasoline costs $3.19 and you only get 12 miles to the gallon in your beloved, F-150 truck.



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